"therapy with survivors of sexual abuse means working with those who carry the destructive image of the perpetrator in their very person. the therapist has the privilege of bringing the presence of God to bear on the results of the evil that was done so that all things might be made new. therapy then becomes the working out of redemption in a life shattered and scarred by evil. as therapists enter into the life experience of their clients, bearing the image of the Lord Jesus Christ in their person, they will see the work of redemption unfold. and as therapists bow to the working out of redemption in their own lives, they will find that the life of God in them begets after its own likeness in their clients."
- diane langberg, counseling survivors of sexual abuse
Saturday, February 19, 2011
Thursday, February 3, 2011
unaccustomed earth
i just love that title. i think maybe because of the quote jhumpa lahiri took it from:
(abrupt segue warning. i promise it will make sense later)
so, i took a multicultural counseling class last year. it was aeh.
i've been finding that i have learned the most about counseling those who don't share my cultural background through friendships and, in this case, reading.
(see? i promised it would come back around)
i liked this book. partially because it marked my entrance back into the world of reading for pleasure. i'd been so skillfully trained (read: brutishly forced) into reading quickly for content that i had recently lost the ability to read for the sake of reading. about halfway into the first of the eight short stories contained in this book i suddenly realized that i wasn't counting pages and nervously eying the clock. i was just living in the world of a bengali immigrant family that was clumsily navigating communication between generations.
that's a common theme in each of the stories (and something that should be familiar if you've read lahiri's earlier The Namesake, or seen the film adaptation). each of the stories is different, but a common theme is an adult indian immigrant generation interacting with their second generation indian american children. i loved the way that lahiri didn't feel the need to resolve any of the tension she so meticulously created. she was content to let it hang there, heavy in the space between the reader and the narrative. i am a lover of last lines (my all-time favorite being the last line of 1984), and this book has one that illustrates the melancholy and unfinished tones of the stories perfectly.
if you're looking for good short stories and you're ok with things that don't finish with all the loose ends tied up, this is good stuff.
"human nature will not flourish, any more than a potato, if it be planted and replanted, for too long a series of generations, in the same worn-out soil. my children have had other birthplaces, and, so far as their fortunes may be within my control, shall strike their roots into unaccustomed earth." - nathaniel hawthornei'm not sure which of his works that's from, but if hester prynne didn't say it i probably haven't read it.
(abrupt segue warning. i promise it will make sense later)
so, i took a multicultural counseling class last year. it was aeh.
i've been finding that i have learned the most about counseling those who don't share my cultural background through friendships and, in this case, reading.
(see? i promised it would come back around)i liked this book. partially because it marked my entrance back into the world of reading for pleasure. i'd been so skillfully trained (read: brutishly forced) into reading quickly for content that i had recently lost the ability to read for the sake of reading. about halfway into the first of the eight short stories contained in this book i suddenly realized that i wasn't counting pages and nervously eying the clock. i was just living in the world of a bengali immigrant family that was clumsily navigating communication between generations.
that's a common theme in each of the stories (and something that should be familiar if you've read lahiri's earlier The Namesake, or seen the film adaptation). each of the stories is different, but a common theme is an adult indian immigrant generation interacting with their second generation indian american children. i loved the way that lahiri didn't feel the need to resolve any of the tension she so meticulously created. she was content to let it hang there, heavy in the space between the reader and the narrative. i am a lover of last lines (my all-time favorite being the last line of 1984), and this book has one that illustrates the melancholy and unfinished tones of the stories perfectly.
if you're looking for good short stories and you're ok with things that don't finish with all the loose ends tied up, this is good stuff.
leave the gun, take the cannoli
during snowpocalypse 2011 my roommate and i decided to watch the godfather trilogy. i'd never seen it before (!), and two days inside seemed like the perfect time to fix that.
after a thorough evaluation, i would say that the main benefit of watching these movies was how much they've helped me to understand the references to it in you've got mail, most of which occur while tom hanks types the longest instant message in recorded history.
i'm just kidding movie geeks. :)
i did really enjoy them, especially the random italian they were throwing around. but it really got me thinking about family, loyalty, and gender.
the thing that i thought about the most during the movie was it's portrayal of women. coppola intentionally framed gender in the movie the way that he did, reflecting the culture within the mob. bottom line, the women were out of control. out of control, irrational and powerless. the women in the corleone family rarely knew any of the details of the "family business". when fredo's wife was drunk at anthony's first communion party fredo complains that he "can't control her". connie is pretty much insane the whole time. we see both michael and carlo abuse their wives.
seeing it makes me so aware of how incredibly blessed i am by the women who have gone before me in american society and fought for equal treatment.
but it also makes me think about how many places women are still treated like (at best) an inconvenience or (at worst) a possession.
even in a time where so much has been done, being a counselor for the past six months has made me painfully aware that sexism isn't dead. i've got stories in my mind now that i can't erase about horrendous and sickening physical, emotional, and sexual abuse.
one thing that's been pretty helpful is this book:
Counseling Survivors of Sexual Abuse- Diane Langberg
i'm working through it now, but it's pretty much the gold standard in its category. one of my professors said that every pastor and christian counselor should read it.
in reading this book and in counseling, the part that sickens me the most is that many times the abuser not only calls himself a Christian, but uses our precious and righteous Lord as a defense for his actions. how can these women trust a God they've been told is behind their tormentors?
wish i had better resolution for this post, but for now i've just got the hollow feeling of something i know isn't right.
after a thorough evaluation, i would say that the main benefit of watching these movies was how much they've helped me to understand the references to it in you've got mail, most of which occur while tom hanks types the longest instant message in recorded history.
i'm just kidding movie geeks. :)
i did really enjoy them, especially the random italian they were throwing around. but it really got me thinking about family, loyalty, and gender.
the thing that i thought about the most during the movie was it's portrayal of women. coppola intentionally framed gender in the movie the way that he did, reflecting the culture within the mob. bottom line, the women were out of control. out of control, irrational and powerless. the women in the corleone family rarely knew any of the details of the "family business". when fredo's wife was drunk at anthony's first communion party fredo complains that he "can't control her". connie is pretty much insane the whole time. we see both michael and carlo abuse their wives.
seeing it makes me so aware of how incredibly blessed i am by the women who have gone before me in american society and fought for equal treatment.
but it also makes me think about how many places women are still treated like (at best) an inconvenience or (at worst) a possession.
even in a time where so much has been done, being a counselor for the past six months has made me painfully aware that sexism isn't dead. i've got stories in my mind now that i can't erase about horrendous and sickening physical, emotional, and sexual abuse.
one thing that's been pretty helpful is this book:
Counseling Survivors of Sexual Abuse- Diane Langberg
i'm working through it now, but it's pretty much the gold standard in its category. one of my professors said that every pastor and christian counselor should read it.
in reading this book and in counseling, the part that sickens me the most is that many times the abuser not only calls himself a Christian, but uses our precious and righteous Lord as a defense for his actions. how can these women trust a God they've been told is behind their tormentors?
wish i had better resolution for this post, but for now i've just got the hollow feeling of something i know isn't right.
febrolution.
yes, that's got to be a real word.
i'm not a big new years' resolution person, but i need some blogging incentive.
it's february, but since i didn't resolve anything on january 1st i figure february 3rd is as good a time as any. also i figure that increased blogging is about as noble a resolution as i can possibly have.
right?
i'm not a big new years' resolution person, but i need some blogging incentive.
it's february, but since i didn't resolve anything on january 1st i figure february 3rd is as good a time as any. also i figure that increased blogging is about as noble a resolution as i can possibly have.
right?
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