the work of vulnerability

my dear sweet friend becca shared this with me. it's a talk by social work PHD brene brown, about her research on vulnerability. [that job sounds stinking amazing.] anyway, it's 20 mins long, so if you've got some free time i'd highly recommend it.

oh and also, brene- not a believer. she's offering a perspective that's a little different than the whole "God calls us to relationship" angle. it's cool, though. she talks about how we're "wired for connection" and how shame undoes our ability to connect.

so, those of you that believe that secular research has something to offer counseling, here's a chance to do some integration. :)

productive rest

i graduated just about a month ago. and man, i was tired. they told us throughout the masters program that our internship year would be challenging. it was, but in a different way than i expected. i was probably less traditionally "busy" last year. i was at internship about 30 hours a week, and then up at school on tuesdays for a full day. that's pretty close to a regular 40 hour a week job. i was committed to attending small group one night a week and getting to the gym 2 or 3 times. at the end of the semester i had one big test.

it didn't really compare to those other semesters of grad school. you know, the ones where you look at your to do list and you think, "oh man, i can't wait til saturday so i can work on my homework". (which, admittedly, is better than the once a semester panic where i looked at my to do list and thought, "i will never, ever get this done, even if i don't sleep".)


[on a different note, i won the "most caffeine dependent" award at our graduation banquet. thank you?]

last semester was just different. i don't quite know how to classify the kind of work that it is to try to share the burden of 20 different clients' issues. finding that line between being over-invested and being checked out is tough. i didn't always do it well.

the past month has been fun and, i think, restful. i visited friends. i took a week-long class. i cleaned out my apartment, finished some painting i started months ago, and started reading about 5 different books.

but, i feel like i've just turned a corner. this week i've been waking up and realizing that i have nowhere to be. i'm working on job searching and trying to have something scheduled every day and going to the gym, but i'm pretty much only accountable to myself at this point. eep.

i really do believe that the Lord knew i needed some time off, and if i'd started a job right away i would have been headed for the crazy house.

suddenly the concept of resting in a productive way is very relevant to me. (also the concept of creative ways to live on solely mac & cheese, suggestions?)


i'll keep you guys updated, but for now would just love prayers for future direction. :)

on repeat.